life is so unpredictable, and despite how expressive language can be, sometimes i feel it is just not enough. at times there can be no words to describe how happy one can be, but what's interesting is when a close friend is dealing with a loss... how can one even start to really tell another that they're sorry too? i think a lot about the biblical story of job. the main message is that job was a good man fearful of God, and despite losing everything (children, means of life, given sores on skin, etc.), he would not speak against God. what i have always found fascinating were the initial reactions of his three friends who came to visit him after this all happened. his friends came to join job and sat with him on the ground while saying nothing for seven days. what i really like about this is that these friends showed they cared without having to say a single word. they might not have completely understood where job was or what he was thinking, but they tried by being the ones who were there with him in this difficult time. it really stinks when one feels like they can't help at all when something bad happens... that the only thing they can do is really be there for those one cares about. i know from personal experience that it does help when people are there when something tragic occurs to oneself, but despite that, being the person on the outside looking in... it doesn't make it any better.
i've been trying to find something to summarize how i'm feeling today... and i came across an old favorite. beethoven's 7th movement 2. there's variation in the work with some levity, but what i really love about this movement is the heaviness that encompasses from the minor key. i remember sitting in an orchestra playing this once before... how the line would flow so seamlessly from one section to another... and how effective and plodding it seamed when everyone was called to play. i miss sitting in the bowels of a symphonic orchestra and reveling in the sound. anyways... there's a sadness i feel because i know my friend is hurting... and the world is less one great mother. however i am glad that she had the opportunity to see her son fulfill his dreams, and that she also had a chance to live out her dreams.
there were a couple versions i found, i really like the one with kleiber conducting. when the piece starts off... it's almost dead quiet... you barely notice anyone's even playing if you just listen to it. it makes the build up and crescendo that much more effective.
this one is with karajan conducting. it's good, but i think i'm most impressed with the video. the crescendo's are very effective, but the start of the kleiber version is better... it's just SO soft p(ppppp)ianissimo... super duper pianissimo.
RIP dhini.