.:Gotta Drop a Blog in The Corner:.

another year is rolling around, and i'm not sure how i feel about it all. lately i've just felt that this is definitely not how i pictured my life when i got to this age. it's difficult someitmes to think that i'm still in school and have a ways to go before finishing, when most of my close friends have steady careers and starting on the "next phase" of their personal lives. even with the friends i've made over the last 3-4 years or so... i've felt that i haven't been able to connect as well with them as i had been able to do previously. i think this is mainly due to the fact that i'm a couple of years older than my classmates, and while i still like to goof around, my interests and thoughts have grown a little more (or so i tell myself, i guess). it could also be that my beliefs are more hardened and rather cemented now that i'm older. in any case while i find it quite easy to find people to joke around with, i find the more serious part of building friendships/relationships a little more difficult now than before. you would think that 4-5 years isn't that long of a time, but 4-5 years during your 20s is almost like a lifetime. when your peers refer to soundgarden as an "old band"... when you play rock band on the xbox and "blackhole sun" comes on to which your band members say... i remember this song from early middle school... you just feel there's this large gap in age. it's strange when i refer to movies from high school or events that happened... and few people in the group can recall what happened... only to say they think they remember something about it. however, i can't fault them... cause they where in jr. high when i was in high school. they were also in high school when i was in college... and i was working when they were in college. they really are a whole generation behind me so to speak. there are days when i wonder what it would've been like to go to a program that had a mix of students that was skewed more to students my age.

so... these are some of the things i've been thinking about lately as the 29 comes up.

just checking in... cause i have a little bit of time...

so the semester finished, i passed all my classes... not necessarily with the grades that i wanted... though i got past that first semester... and i don't have to take them over so that's a good thing =].

have had people visiting on a weekly basis for the last couple weeks. have more people coming in for the forseeable future. it's been fun... but i haven't been sleeping as much as i'd like... and i LOVE to sleep =p.

having friends come in to visit was great... and i'm looking forward to having some more come in. of all the semesters to do it... this semester is probably the one to do it in since i'm on co-op until may. my co-op is @ one of the more interesting and specialized hospitals here in boston... and i'm making a bunch of different drugs for parenteral delivery. so i'm @ this co-op full time... and continue with classes during summer... thus for a few months i won't have to study and won't have exams.

i'm still trying to get used to the whole not being able to get up late on weekdays and not being able to take naps during the day thing. my first week @ the hospital i started @ 7am... that was a bit rough. i've since moved to 9am these last 2 weeks... which is still earlier than my 10am classes from last semester.

overall the start of the new year has been pretty good... though i still find myself short on time. anyways... i need to go to bed... but happy belated new year to all.

this hasn't happened in a very long time... but today i walked out of a final with a sinking feeling. i was unprepared for it despite staying up for the last 2 days and nights cramming for it. it was a cumulative final, and i just ran out of time to study for it. things have been hectic since the end of thanksgiving, wednesday i had 2 group papers AND presentations for them due. those two things had taken up a majority of my time the last 2 weeks or so, leaving very little time to study for the exam i had today. i guess it really is my own fault though... i should have been better prepared and started way earlier. it feels like i've been trying to catch up this entire semester, and i never got a chance to get on top of things. what's most depressing to me is i feel like i'm starting to fall back to how i was when i was an undergrad, and would just get overwhelmed and give up.

but... anyways... in an attempt to cheer myself up a bit, i downloaded 'charlie brown holiday hits' from amazon. 'christmas time is here' is the song i was looking for to pick me up. i really need to look forward to something that doesn't have anything to do with school right now.

and... who knows... maybe the big guy up in the sky will have made most of my guesses on the exam correct... one can always hope right?

ok... time to study for my final on monday. IT NEVER ENDS!!!

2 exams next week before the holiday, should be studying more... but it ain't happening. still so much to do. i need to rapidly increase my mental abilities quickly... don't think it's gonna happen within the time frame i need it to though.

i've been taking lots of naps lately, but have been having trouble confining them to power nap time limits. i used to be so good at getting up again after 20 minutes. i need to get that ability back.

some members of the US gov't are backing taiwan's reinstatement to the UN. taiwan was previously the representative for china as the republic of china, but once china gained influence taiwan lost its seat to china in 1971. from my point of view, i'm kind of split on this. as a people, even though the people of taiwan are mostly chinese, they definitely have a very different culture than the chinese in china (even within china the chinese are divided into multiple groups speaking different dialects). however, taiwan has no way of defending itself from a mainland invasion, it would be over in about 10 minutes and the people's republic would have control. with china's economy, taiwan has lost influence in the business world as well, so they really don't have the clout to attract investment or invest outside that they once did.

buffalo the loser.

i wish i had money so i could do this, i'd donate both. it's such a great idea i think, but i am so in debt right now from my own school loans it's not even funny.

that's it.

how come when you're young... you don't want to sleep? i remember being able to stay awake, and my parents would always be telling me to go to bed. i wanted to stay up later and later... boy do i wish i had that kind of energy now. george carlin was right... life should work backwards... it'd be more fun (ie. funner). so anyways... sleeping more has another benefit associated with it.

this is interesting... and it might be me sometime down the line if i ever meet that right person to not live with. it really is hard to spend all if not most of your time with someone... even if you really care about them. i also know that it's a two person thing... as in sometimes i can get pretty annoying too.

i love how after all these years with the colts, bill polian can still refer to buffalo as 'us'.

i don't know what is wrong with people these days. stuff like this just depresses me.

goulet!

had an interview today for my spring co-op. i like the place. hopefully i'll be able to land it. it's funny how you just get good at doing interviews as you keep doing them and as you get older. i remember i used to sweat and get really nervous and sometimes have difficulty in reacting and responding to questions. the last couple years, as i've gone into interviews, i just haven't really even thought of anything going in. it's kind of like having a conversation with a stranger that just flows from one topic to the next. i think another thing is, i've said the same or similar things so many times, that it all just comes. the pauses that happen when i "think" of my answer are actually just me recalling what i've said in the past. it's also strange how i can easily talk to people when i don't even know them, but if it's about work i'll have a good amount to say. however, if i'm at a party and i don't know the majority of the people, i won't be the one seeking out conversation usually.

well... that's it for me tonight.

ok... this whole moving primaries and caucuses up thing is getting ridiculous. after all these years, traditionally the new hampshire primary and the iowa caucus are the first to vote in the country as the democrat and republican races kick off. now everyone wants to move ahead of each other and be the first in order to "influence" who get's the final nod to represent the party. they're all constantly changing the dates now, and telling one another "if you move before us, we'll move our date ahead again." pretty soon... no one will know when the primary is... it'll be like 10 years ahead of the actual year for the election, and it will be a surprise announcement. "SURPRISE! we're holding our state's in 10 minutes. go vote!" i think either we should do away with the primary system and just have everyone on the final ballot, or have every state vote on the same damn date already. besides, i think a big problem with why our country has such low voter turnout and participation is because they are so tired of the politics. it seems like all the candidates are constantly out there getting face time for votes. there always seems to be negative political ads on tv these days. maybe the public is just tired of it all and has tuned it all out? perhaps since it's so ingrained into the background of daily lives when election day does come around nobody cares because it's constantly there anyways?

what's up with the sabres this year? why are they sucking so much? (oh yeah, they screwed the pooch by letting both their captains go from last year). what's up with philly and boston being decent too?

in football news... remember when the afc east used to be a powerhouse division? how times have changed. miami is still terrible, the jets are in shambles, and the bills are in 2nd place (i don't even know how we're even up there). will anyone be able to stop brady and the pats? i'm getting sick of watching him hook up with moss for touchdown after touchdown.

i have a confession to make. i was actually rooting for cleveland to beat the bosox... despite the fact that i like the red sox. it's only because cleveland's AAA minor league affliate is the buffalo bisons, and a lot of their roster has been brought up through their farm system and played ball in buffalo. i'm just happy that the yankees didn't make it and the indians knocked them out.

the track 'science' on 'strange birds' is a really good track to crank up the volume on. when i listen to it... it feels like i'm just immersed in this sonic space as it builds up. definitely dig the hi-hat.